One day, he realized he could not live up to his self-expectations. Duerson used to think of himself as a perfectionist. That changed when he saw comedian Jim Carrey on "The Tonight Show" talking about being a perfectionist as a comedian and actor.That’s from today’s Chicago Tribune story on Dave Duerson.
"And Jim Carrey says, 'Perfection is God's business. I just try for excellence,'" Duerson told Trucks. "And I have to tell you, I dropped in front of the TV, man. I dropped to my knees in front of the TV and said, 'Look, I'm sorry. Forgive me for my arrogance.'"
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/bears/ct-spt-0227-dave-duerson-final-days--20110226,0,3036128.story?page=3 Reported by Tribune reporters Dan Pompei, David Haugh, Vaughn McClure, Becky Yerak and Steve Schmadeke and written by Pompei.
I’m not going to attempt to summarize Duerson’s life in a couple of sentences because there’s too much of it, too many highs and lows. But, in the end, he was still trying to be a team player:
there are notes. Several notes.Donated so medical science could perhaps help other players have the high of playing without the low of permanent brain injury.
The notes are not addressed to anyone specifically, but they provide Duerson's family with everything they need to know. Where to find important documents. Financial information. Specific instructions about his wishes.
Veterans of the police departments who responded to the call and have been to many similar scenes never had encountered a suicide planned and executed so meticulously.
In one of the notes, Duerson wrote about his failed business deals, about his family problems, about seeing stars, blurry vision and having difficulty spelling simple words.
And he wrote, again, that he wanted to have his brain donated to science.