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Monday, July 25, 2011

Performance anxiety can strike anywhere

This is from “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me”, an NPR show. Partial transcript follows:

SAGAL: Welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a big winner. Ready to play?

Mr. KELLY: I'm ready.

SAGAL: All right, here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, host:

I cannot say no, thank you to pork.

And my pasta, I twirl with much torque.

But my eating tool size

has a pleasant surprise.

I eat less when I have a big _____?

Mr. KELLY: Spork?

(Soundbite of laughter)

(Soundbite of applause)

SAGAL: Did you just say spork?

Mr. KELLY: I did.

SAGAL: I admire your ingenuity, but you're over complicating this.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Want another guess?

Mr. KELLY: Let's see.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Were you raised in a prison? I'm not sure...

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: Or perhaps a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. I believe they have sporks. It's just an interesting first choice. Let's hear the limerick again and I'm sure you will get it.

Mr. KELLY: Yeah.

(Soundbite of laughter)

KASELL: I cannot say no, thank you to pork.

And my pasta, I twirl with much torque.

But my eating tool size

has a pleasant surprise.

I eat less when I have a big ________?

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. KELLY: I don't know.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: It's a lot like a spork but less versatile.

(Soundbite of laughter)

Mr. KELLY: A fork.

SAGAL: A fork, yes.

(Soundbite of bell)

(Soundbite of cheering)

SAGAL: The big news in weight loss, according to research from the University of Utah, people eat less if they use bigger forks. They say bigger forks trick your body into thinking you're eating more. So you take fewer bites, feel fuller sooner. While using a small fork makes you eat more, more quickly, in order to make up for having such a tiny, pathetic little fork.

(Soundbite of laughter)

SAGAL: One downside to the big fork diet, you will lose a bit of dignity when you sit down to dinner with your trident.

http://www.npr.org/2011/07/23/138629867/limericks for transcript

http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=35 for audio