Did you read the good news? It was in hundreds of newspapers on January 27, 2012, in a story by nationally syndicated columnist Scott Adams.
Through a simple process, some of your skin cells can be kept alive forever in a laboratory. So long as any part of your body is alive and functioning, you are still legally alive, and thus can avoid probate, and avoid estate taxes.
Sound incredible? It isn’t. Remember the Supreme Court recently declared that corporations are legally persons and are entitled to spend all they want on political campaigns, so how much more you own living cells?
How does this work?
Here at AmericanSchemes, Inc. we handle everything for you, forever. Just send us a small deposit ($500) and we’ll send you a kit. You will have to gently scrape some of your skin cells off (it won’t hurt!) and send them back to us. Believe it or not, your softest skin is on your buttox cheeks, so those will work better than areas which are more likely to have callouses.
This is going to last forever, so you will need someone to manage your assets and defend them against rapacious governments who will try to get around your constitutional rights and seize your assets to finance Ponzi schemes like Social Security. At AmericanSchemes, we will protect you as well as your cultured buttox cells. What’s more, we will do this for only a 1% management fee, which is as low or lower than most other professional money managers. And we do more than they do: for 1%, we protect your ass as well as your assets. And, to insure your assets are protected against those rapacious state and federal governments, AmericanSchemes keeps those assets in the Cayman Islands, just like multi-millionaires like Mitt Romney do.
All that’s required is that you sign the durable power of attorney form AmericanSchemes will send you. No worries that your heirs won’t be as competent at managing your money as you were. We’ll take care of all that.
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